


Worthy to be Loved

by CloudXMK



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: "I Need The Eggs" Easter Fic Exchange, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brother Feels, Brotherly Love, F/M, Lucifer Needs a Hug, Mentions of Mazikeen, Mentions of Trixie, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 01:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10652043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudXMK/pseuds/CloudXMK
Summary: Easter usually means rebirth but to Lucifer it only meant painful memories of a life long ago and a younger half-brother.





	Worthy to be Loved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BurningUpASunJustToSayHello](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningUpASunJustToSayHello/gifts).



> This is for the "I Need The Eggs" Easter Fic Exchange. The prompt handed out to me was Chocolate. 
> 
> Happy Easter (I'm only late by four minutes) BurningUpASunJustToSayHello! It took me awhile to figure out how and where I wanted this to go and I finally settled on this. I do hope that you will enjoy it and my apologies for being late by a few minutes past Easter Sunday.

“Dude, what the hell happened to you?” Ella asked, horror and concern etched on her face when she saw Lucifer exiting his car. She had invited him to join her and attend Mass on this very day, Easter Sunday, and although he protested at first, she had managed to bribe him to join her.

Chocolate it would seem did the trick. Who knew that the Devil really did love his chocolate?

“It’s nothing.” Lucifer replied. Cuts that still bled and bruises covered every inch of his face and blood trickled down his nose.

“You are definitely not fine. Come on, you can tell me.”

“I told you Miss Lopez. It is nothing that you should be concerned about.” Lucifer mumbled, irritation evident in his tone. He just wanted to put behind the little incident he had with Mazikeen earlier that day all because he was being a ‘stubborn ass and a complete fool’ as she said.

Ever since he had divorced Candy, he and the Detective could never seem to get along. Every time he would step into the same room as her, Chloe would be leaving.

Their relationship nowadays (if they even have one) was just tense. And everyone else except for Ella and the detective’s spawn (and most definitely not his Mother) seemed to hate his guts. Case in point, Mazikeen and her wicked punches.

And now he had to deal with the horrible memories of that day on that hill all because of today.

Sometimes he wondered if it was best if he just left for Hell.

Remembering that she still had some leftover chocolate in her pocket from the Easter party earlier today at the precinct, Ella took out some and offered them to Lucifer, “Here. Maybe this will cheer you up since you won’t talk to me about it.” She said hoping it would at least comfort the grouchy, injured man.

“And we definitely need to get you to a hospital to get those wounds looked at. Forget Mass man. You look like you've been run over by a truck.”

“No. No hospital.” He did feel like he had been.

“But-!”

“No hospital Miss Lopez. And thank you for the chocolate.” He said, his features softening, appreciating the little offer.

“Um. Yeah. Yeah no problem.” Ella said. Unwrapping the little packets of chocolate, Lucifer popped some into his mouth and breathed heavily.

“Hey come on. We went to Mass before and no combustion happened of the sort. I’m sure you’ll enjoy Mass today.” She said.

Lucifer doubted that but Ella had deceived him and even bribed him (he swears that she is just an older version of the offspring) so now he was stuck with a deal and he had to fulfill it.

“Alright. Let’s just get this over with.”

Truth be told, the first half of Mass wasn’t too bad. Until the priest started to preach about them all being worthy of God’s love and that Jesus, by sacrificing himself, had granted them all a free pass of absolution.

“You may think that you’re not worthy of God’s love but that’s where you are wrong! God loves you all even when you reject it and even when you don’t deserve it.” The old man preached.

That only brought back the horrible memories. He remembered it as clear as day. Telling his half-brother to run but the man’s indomitable faith in their Father wouldn’t persuade him, watching him get tortured and walking down the streets up to the hill where he would be executed. The crown of thorns, him collapsing, the large, heavy cross. So driven with rage, he chased down after Judas Iscariot, informing him of the punishments he had set up for him all painful beyond belief, drawing out the man’s desires and watching with glee as he worked out what he desired, racing back to watch his little brother suffer and die all while being jeered and mocked.

Too much. Too much!

How dare this _human_ preach of love and them all being worthy for his brother to die? He did not DESERVE to die and they are most definitely not worthy of him judging from the increasing numbers of them in Hell. Especially himself.

Nauseated, Lucifer excused himself, ignoring Ella’s concerned questions, and ran out like a bat straight out of Hell to his car and drove away needing to get as far away from the church as possible. He hadn’t even registered he was crying until a tear fell on the skin of his exposed collar.

 

* * *

 

Chloe wasn’t sure what possessed her to go search for Lucifer but Ella’s worried call had got her worrying over Lucifer and fearing that he may have left again and this time for good.

She searched first in his apartment but he was nowhere to be found. She tried the beach and he wasn’t there too. He too wasn’t at the precinct or at Linda’s or any bar and club that she could think of. It was like he had disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Heart sinking to her feet, Chloe returned home bitter, hurt and angry. Locking her car, she walked up to her apartment loft when she heard voices inside. She would have broken down the door if it were not for her ears picking up that familiar, British voice, Trixie’s and another voice she had never heard.

“Why are you here?” She heard Lucifer ask.

“What? I can’t come to visit my big brother?” The stranger spoke.

“Half-brother remember.” She heard Trixie giggle and she swore she could picture Lucifer looking like a cat that got soaked no doubt from Trixie being in close proximity and most possibly hugging him.

“You’re still a better brother then I could ever ask for.”

“Oh, a better brother? I’m Satan remember? The Adversary, the Beast, Satan, I could go on.”

“…Luci, I know why you’re being like this.”

“Being the expert of emotions now, Emmanuel? Lucifer scoffed.

“I know this day brings back the memories. Of that day.”

Silence echoed from the inside of her loft and Chloe wondered what was going on. “You are worthy of being loved, Lucifer. That’s why I did it other for the humans of the Earth past, present and future.”

That somehow angered Lucifer. “Child, go to your room.” Chloe heard Lucifer speak tersely, could hear how he was trying to rein in his anger.

“Okay Lucifer.” Once Trixie was gone, Lucifer lost it.

“Worthy of being loved? Worthy!?” A manic laugh from Lucifer chilled her straight to her bones. “I am the last person who is worthy to be loved! I hurt the Detective, abandoned her just like her former husband perhaps even worse! I hurt all that I care about! I couldn’t even save you!”

“Luci…” But Lucifer never let the stranger finish.

“I WATCHED YOU DIE, EMMANUEL! YES YOU DID COME BACK TO LIFE BUT YOU DID NOT DESERVE TO BE IN HELL FOR THREE DAYS! THREE DAYS OF ETERNAL PAIN AND SUFFERING ALL BECAUSE OF THESE HUMANS AND ME! HELL ONLY SEEMS TO GROW WITH A LARGER POPULATION THESE DAYS AND I! I STILL CONTINUE TO DESTROY AS I HAVE ALWAYS DONE!” Lucifer screamed only to end in choking sobs that tore through Chloe’s heart.

“I am not worth it.” She heard him say just like on the beach three weeks ago and it broke Chloe’s heart.

“Your sacrifice is a sham and all in vain. I don’t need your love.”

“I refuse to believe that. And even if you don’t need or want it, I will always love you, Lucifer.”

Once again, the whole house went silent and slowly, Chloe opened the door slightly to see a man with skin tanned from years being under the Sun and shiny brown hair tied up into a ponytail dressed in a white suit kiss his cheek and disappear into thin air, taking Chloe by surprise.

But what shocked Chloe the most was that Lucifer was… not Lucifer. There on the couch was a man dressed in Lucifer’s clothes but he was completely bald and red all over with such red eyes that she found herself drowning in.

It was only the soft sobs that escaped his lips that snapped Chloe out of her state. This is Lucifer. Her Lucifer. Was this why he ran?

Entering the house, Lucifer raised his head, his eyes widening in horror when he saw Chloe and quickly shifted back but he knew it was too late.

“D-Detective…”

“Hey. I was looking everywhere for you. Ella called me, told me you left Mass in a hurry.” Chloe said as she went over to sit beside him much to his utter surprise.

“Y-You’re not running away? From me?”

She shook her head. “Why should I?”

“No doubt you must have heard the conversation I had with my little brother. You know why.”

Chloe huffed in annoyance, “Lucifer, you may be the Devil but I know who you truly are. You’re my friend and someone I care about very much.” And it rang true in her soul.

“I doubt that.” He whispered remembering how much she avoided him and didn’t even want to talk to him. This was actually in fact their very first serious conversation since he came back.

“Lucifer it’s true.”

“Well, I am not worth it.” He said.

“Lucifer please.”

“How could you still want me as a friend and even care about me? After what I did to you? I only destroy Detective. You should find someone else better and worthy of your love. Not me, never me.” Lucifer mumbled sadly, turning his gaze away from hers.

Having enough, Chloe cupped his face and turned him to face her once more. Without any warning, she leaned in and kissed him, his eyes widening and fluttering shut as Lucifer melted into the kiss. They kissed for what felt like an eternity and when their demand for air became too much, they pulled away.

Lucifer looked questioningly at Chloe not believing this to be true. “You are worthy to be loved, Lucifer. And I love you.” She admitted finally, the feelings she held deep inside bursting forth for she knew Lucifer needed to know how much she did.

Tears welled up in the man’s eyes and Lucifer fell forward, wrapping his arms around Chloe as he sobbed into her shoulder. “I… love you too.” He sobbed and it was the truth.

Torture it had been with the two parted but perhaps now, now they could rest and truly be happy.

For the Devil had once been an angel.

And love anew brought about a resurrection in his once hollow, dead life.


End file.
